End of United States' ‘World-Wide Welcome’ Prompts Request
12.09.2010 – New York, NY
2010 may mark the year of international embarrassment for the United States. For the first time, this year marked the President submitting findings to the United Nations Human Rights review. After Arizona’s state law proved an international embarrassment for the United States, the country finds itself in a new diplomatic quandary.
The country of France has requested the return of the statue of liberty, a gift dedicated to the US in 1886.
“We have been watching developments with concern for quite some time,” explains French Ambassador, Mister Pierre Vimont. “It would seem now that America no longer considers herself the ‘Mother of Exiles’ as she once did.”
The ambassador refused to directly comment on what specifically motivated the dramatic request, stating, “We cannot interfere in US politics.” However, a representative of the embassy commented “The statue’s inscription says, ‘give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.’ These words would seem more appropriate on the doors of your country’s private prisons than on a symbol of liberty.”
Columbia University Professor of International Relations, Dr. Franklin Jenkins, observed, “the recent debate within New York over the state’s participation in the secure communities program, where the statue is located, is likely to be the most direct cause of the ambassador’s move.”
Secure Communities, a federal immigration program that culls fingerprint data from local jails, is credited with the 400,000 deportations this year and is being hotly contested in New York state. The Governor’s office enlisted in the program after emails from the Administration ensured him that no locality would be forced to participate, only to hear it is mandatory, not “opt-in opt-out” after signing the state’s agreement.
Whether the French request will be honored or have any influence in the government’s approach to immigration policy is yet to be seen. “Some may call our request ‘impossible.’ But the unbelievable treatment of the poor and today’s migrants in your country shows that indeed, anything is possible. Relocating a 225 ton statue is as unrealistic as deporting hundreds of thousands of people for no reason. If your country is determined to do that, we shall find lady liberty a more hospitable shore.” concluded the source from the embassy.
This posting is satire. Any resemblance to real news is purely coincidental.